I have been struggling lately with feelings of frustration. Frustration about my job and what seems to be a lack of progress toward my goals. When I look around and talk to people around me I see that I'm not alone. I believe this is one of the biggest reasons people find themselves on antidepressants. This is not from any scientific studies just my gut feelings. Why should it be like that? Why should some people find themselves satisfied in life, achieving their goals and content, while others are tormented by dreams that seem o be unattainable, and tortured by going to jobs they hate. I have read many books and talked to many different people, and I have decided that the problem is that we tend to live for the finish line and not for the race.
What does that mean? Well, I'm going to talk about my own life since I know that story. I've often found myself in states of deep depression when I would look at my life and see that I had fallen short of my POTENTIAL. Potential, what a discouraging concept when you don't look at it with a healthy perspective. Potential can seem to be taunting and mocking you. The taunts usually go something like this:
“Look at you. You think you are so talented, but here you are working 9 to 5 in a dead end job. You think that you're a writer, yet here you are.”
I have found that the taunting and mocking is merely a result of screwed up thinking on my part. I have my goals and my dreams, but when I don't see them coming to pass I get depressed, and begin wallow in puddles of self-pity.
I am not saying that there is a problem with having the goals. Motivational speakers always tell you write down your goals. I still agree with that, but there is more to it than just that. In all fairness to motivational speakers most don't stop there they do include the rest of the story but I always walked away with the idea to write the goals and I missed the rest, maybe that's just the ADD kicking in.
What's missing is the reason that the goal was set in the first place. If had just decided that I wanted to be a writer because I thought it was cool, then I would lack the motivation to do what is required to become a writer. (writing) I decided to become a writer because I love to write. Therefore when I set my goal to become a writer, it is implied that I must write. I love to write. I believe I am good at it, and have been told as much by others as well as by my results in contests.
Where the problem lies is here. When I focus on the finish line as the thing I want, then I assess myself and see that I'm not there, meaning I have not a published book, then I feel discouraged. If I can focus on writing as my goal, then I can enjoy the process of accomplishing my goal.
This is why when someone sets a goal to be a millionaire they will undoubtedly fail unless they can envision a path that they enjoy on the way to the goal. I have known some people who at some point in life decided to lose weight. As part of the process they began to run or swim or ride bikes. They began to enjoy the exercise so much they eventually competed in triathlons. They first had realize that they enjoyed the process before they ever ran the race. If they had decided they wanted to complete in a triathlon but did not enjoy the work involved they never would have crossed the finished line.
So, I have resolved to try to always remember that the reason I want to get a book published is because I love to write, I love to create and I love to tell a story. When I remember this I can enjoy race all the way to the finish line.
It is not about the finish line, it is about the race.
The Deepest Love in the Darkest Place
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